USAID wins fight against book bans

I was released from the federal workforce twice in the past 2 months. How did this happen? Thoughts and musings from a federal employee who technically doesn't have a job.
DISCLAIMER: This is the experience and views of myself alone, published under my first amendment rights. It does not reflect the beliefs or views of any one federal agency nor the United States Government as a whole.
When I was laid off from the federal government in February, I took it as an opportunity to reflect on what it means to be a federal employee. It used to mean stability; a compromise made for comparatively lower salaries, with promises of greater benefits and a job for life. When I first started my federal employment, I saw it as a gleaming opportunity to learn and have a predestined path for promotions and pay bumps. I was passionate and ready to serve alongside my federal colleagues. As someone who was fresh out of graduate school, I knew that I had worked hard for my seat at the table. It is not a simple process being hired by the federal government, with months of technical vetting, interviews and a comprehensive background check before even being considered for federal employment. I pride myself on my ability to learn quickly and adapt to professional environments, having success in retail, food-service, and on-campus jobs in recent years. My greatest success and pride up until February, was being selected for federal service.
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The first failure of my career arrived 51 weeks into my 52 week probationary period. I was called on a Sunday evening, and told I was being let go. This failure was felt for 4 weeks, before receiving word that my employment was being reinstated, and I would be notified shortly of when to return to the office. “Shortly” became 2 weeks until I was given a return date of April 7th. I was excited and nervous, but determined to show that I wouldn’t be that easy to get rid of. Returning to work, into a familiar workplace, 8 weeks after being terminated was a jarring experience. An experience that lasted merely 60 hours. Just as I was regaining my footing, excited about helping teach a class the following week, I was told without explanation that I was being placed back on administrative leave. My federally issued belongings were confiscated, and I was escorted out the doors. For me it was embarrassing and awkward, but overall a shameful display of apathy by the administration.
Federal workers are hard-working people. We work for the people because we care, and want to be a part of systemic change. Federal workers are patriots, defined by their love and devotion towards their country. I believe that to be a patriot is to call out when the citizens of your country are not being treated fairly. It is to notice when there are systems being put into place that are limiting the potential of one's country. During the administrative transition in January, I was expecting some bumps in the road, but not a complete overhaul of key departments and agencies all in the name of “efficiency”. Federal workers are being targeted, emotionally and financially manipulated, and being forced to make personal decisions that will have a large scale impact on the functionality and “efficiency” of federal service for years to come.
For some people it is a seemingly easier decision. They have worked in federal service for 25 years and are close to retirement. They’ll take early retirement, but leave a vast vacancy of knowledge in their branch. In other cases, early career federal workers are being faced with a “fork in the road”; either abandoning their careers they worked so hard for, or staying and risk being laid off, forced back into an ever crowded job market that is worsening day by day. New blood and seasoned veterans alike, federal employees are grappling with what is right for them personally, and what impacts their decisions will have on their colleagues and their entire agency.
I loved my time as a federal employee and I always will remember it fondly…mostly. However, I’m terrified of how this administration is treating its federal workforce and the implications that this trauma will have on future generations. My heart goes out to federal workers on administrative leave, the ones never reinstated, and the ones essentially stuck in a career that isn’t what they signed up for.
I, along with every federal worker, am a real person. I want to share my story and continue getting the word out about my experience working (and not working) for the government. Federal workers deserve to be heard, to be cherished, and just like everyone living in the United States, deserve the rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. When did this change? Why did the words of our forefathers become moot? If this country ever wants to return to “greatness”, it can start by NOT emotionally traumatizing those that are working for the betterment and safety of all its people.
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ReplyDeleteThank you for being willing to share your story. This is a perfect example of how what is happening to the federal workforce is not merely company downsizing. It is the dismantling of an entire “industry” for lack of a better word. I was, before Jan 20, hoping to transition from my current agency to another that better served my career and life goals. However, any prospects of continuing my career in public service are diminished if not entirely dissolved at this point. I appreciate those who are saying they will hold the line, but at what point do we stand up for our morals over loyalty to public service? I have reached that point - I do not feel comfortable serving an administration that has politicized our work. My energy and knowledge can better serve others outside of a federal role and I look forward to you and I both finding employers who believe the same.
ReplyDeleteCouldn’t have said it better. Hoping that both you, and the writer have a chance to work for employers who not only appreciate you but stand in solidarity with your morals.
DeleteThank you for being open, upfront, and vulnerable. It will take many of us telling our stories, those of us who continue to hold the line, those of us who choose to retire, or leave. My hope is that we leave our stories so the next generations have the knowledge. Please remember how very talented and dedicated you are and how blessed and grateful your coworkers, and the communities you served are that you were willing to come back and give it your all. ❤️
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